“I find myself contemplating my meaning for existence...
I look at my robotic body, and I don't even know if I'm myself...
I can't remember what it feels like to be human anymore...
I have memories...
I can see warmth and cold.... but I can no longer feel
What I wouldn't give for one last moment to be alive
Sometime I want to destroy this inorganic body...
Sometimes I wonder if my soul still lives within this machine...
In my core processor does my electric entity still exist?
Was immortality truly worth this?
I no longer know as I contemplate my existence... “

The year is 4047 A.D.

My name is J4-789V6, but I was once referred to as Jaku.
I reside here in Neo-Tokyo, District 25X
.
I am an Android Enabled Human (A.E.H.) or Cyborg for better understanding, I was human once...
I vaguely remember my life before transition...
I believe I was a young graphic designer before it all happened....
I do not hold any remaining memories of my family or childhood growing up...
As time has moved along the memories have faded away...
After years of memory backups and storage transfers things get lost or forgotten....

One thing I am certain of is there was once a great disaster here...

Back in the year 2054 A.D. we were at a tension between our once governing nations, our society was in a constant turmoil...
It was that year that we would ultimately obliterate all we were...
Nuclear Weapons and other devices of that nature had long since been disposed of out of common knowledge and the realization that they would wipe out anyone to use it. It was this period in time when each governed nation began work towards biological weaponry in an attempt to hold the upper hand on one another...

On June 7th, 2054 A.D. The V4XN virus was created and accidentally released into the public...

After a catastrophic failure with the chemical confinement sub tank at the Andromeda Affiliate Organization (A.A.O.) facility the virus was released from their containment center immediately infecting all staff before making its way to the general public.
The virus struck at record rates, and within 5 months 1/3 of The Worlds population had diminished with 1000's more becoming ill each day.
It was only a matter of time before I would come in contact with this destructive force…

I still remember when the virus hit me. It's one of my last vivid moments before transition.
It was at the old coffee shop corner from my apartment...
I was going about my daily routine of reading the local arts publications and enjoying my morning drink when I saw blood drip from my upper lip into the coffee, I stood up and immediately lost a large portion of my vision, my palms became sweaty as I felt my legs give in, and my body fall towards the floor...

Unconscious I came to at the local hospital in a sealed quarantine section of the 4th ward, along with a handful of other people in neighboring beds beside me...
We were informed that we had all been diagnosed with V4XN and that at the current point in time there was no known cures for the disease....
I felt my heart drop...
My life was over before my eyes and I had only lived for such a short time...
What would my family think?
What if they are in the same position as I am?
So many thoughts swirled through my head, I felt myself go faint as I leaned toward the trash can and released a bile form of blood from my gut...
I pulled the covers over my head and cried myself to sleep...

The next day when I woke up half of the room had already passed on; bodies were left in the quarantine center to avoid infection...
It was a horrific site, I looked at my arm as it began to change color, developing tumorous type soars across my body... What did I have to hold on for anymore?
I knew it was my time but I was so afraid...
I would do anything to hold on for just a little longer, I plead for help from the universe...
I asked any force that might be out there to please help me...
to please save me from death...
I would have traded anything for the opportunity....
That's when I was saved, what I thought was sanctuary finally came...

Officials came in and made an announcement that Robotech Enterprise had finally made a substantial breakthrough on the new Android Enabled Human Developer kits and were moving ahead of schedule in trial runs for public safety concern. We were offered the opportunity
to be the first beta testers of the product. These were Humanoid devices created to house human conscious and offer eternal life (for a cost of course)
I couldn't believe this was happening! It was too good to be true!
They went over the procedure and explained that the operation takes a few days work and that during this time our bodies would be relinquished and our electromagnetic brain waves transferred over to a Central Processing Unit where at that time the registry system would process information received from our frontal lobe to move memories into a storage facility within our soon to be host body..

They explained that we were the first trial runs and there was no guarantee of success but it was our only hope at this point if we didn't want to perish and because of the situation we would receive free treatment. I signed the contract with no hesitation and I assumed this would be the case for everyone really, but I was surprised by the number of people refusing treatment...

Why?! ...

Why would you give up the opportunity to live again, to feel good? This was essentially immortality! How could anyone deny something so amazing!
I shook my head and the idiocy and moved on for my operation...
It felt like a standard procedure...
I was brought into an operation room as they laid me on the bed; a mask was placed over my face and nerve gas was released into my system...

I still remember my conscious being in registry system of my CPU...
it was like an ocean of dreams.
Every experience, every moment I had ever had, my life laid before me...
Blanketed by everything I knew like an embryo...

When my system was initialized and I was reborn the first thing I remember was a bright light shining in my eyes...
it was a robotic arm testing retina sense for the motion run cameras used for my eyes...
I was asked a series of question before being instructed to perform a number of physical activities to ensure proper functionality of the android unit. Everything was successful, they told I was operating perfectly and exceeding expectations as far as physical capabilities were concerned.
They led me out of the room and down a corridor where I was given my UserID and assigned my System Counterpart.
Each Android Enabled Human (or cyborg) is assigned another A.E.H. based off memory compatibility referred to as their "System Counterpart". The reason for this was simply to ensure proper function with each unit. If either A.E.H. were to show defect in system operation or mechanical function the other could help run diagnostic analysis and light mechanical repair.

I still remember when I met my system counterpart ..."JL-X4989"

We were brought to a room and Y-Jacked to a small electronic device that when turned on shared each other's memories and system information with one another...
It was such a strange sensation, knowing another entity that fast...
It was almost overwhelming, but I'd never felt so connected to another thing in my life (organic or inorganic). We left RoboTech Enterprise together and were assisted by another A.E.H. to our new living quarters, equipped with everything needed to maintain our robotic selves.
We were instructed to test all appliances as well as our charger housing to ensure we could sustain independently...
Although we were immortal we still had to charge our cybernetic bodies. With the mass power consumption for each unit there was no way to secure a self charging system on units so charging chambers were created
uniquely for each android unit

My new life was amazing, but robot life was hard growing used to...
You ignore the small things in life like the enjoyment of food, or the sensation of smell, the way it feels holding a soft sheet against your skin...

As a robot I know these things, and my body can recognize these things happening, but I am unable to truly experience it...to me it was a small price to pay though, considering where I was the week before.
I had found the answer and I was happy living alongside an ideal life mate.

....

1993 years have passed since then...

I have watched the world transform over all this time, witnessing the extinction of nearly every species on earth. I have watched A.E.H. Technology take over every aspect of modern living we know
As I stand here now I wonder at what cost...
Over the past years I have begun to lose touch with myself, I have forgotten what it feels like to be alive...;
sure, I am an able functioning A.E.H. , but is this truly living?

What is the point of it?

What is the point in living forever?

Should I continue like this forever only because I fear of what may come?

I don't find much to hold onto anymore....I am so afraid of letting go, but I feel myself losing touch the longer I go on...

Maybe there is a bug in my O.S. , I know I had this thought once before but I was taken to RoboTech immediately after and my system was restored erasing that troubling thought, but what if it's not a bug?
What if it is the first time in a long time that I know the truth.... that this isn't being alive...
I have been neglecting telling my System Counterpart these thoughts out of fear of being taken back to RoboTech where they can numb the action and keep me living in an ignorant fog...
I know I should tell them though, what if they feel the same way?
What if they're afraid to tell me too out of fear I will return them to RoboTech myself

Tonight when we meet at our housing unit I will finally let it out...

Hrs go by before JL-4989X walks through the front door, we greet one another and go over each other's days before we head to our self service station where we dock in and begin a system backup (I focus hard to push my existential thoughts to the furthest reaches of my memory bank to prevent detection on the system backup.... something I learned to do after last time).
As we unplug I grab my counterpart and I begin to unload, I inform JL-4989X of all my thoughts and concerns as they stare back at me. Just as I feared I am told I have an operations malfunction and must be taken into RoboTech tomorrow for a system maintenance inspection and restore.
My counterpart tells me we should shutdown and recharge for tomorrow.

Striping off our back plates we walk into the room and move towards our stations, we stand in our cylindrical charging chambers opposite of one another as the doors close and the charging ends plug in.

I hear rain begin to pour as my system shuts down…

It's dark in here...

There is an otherworldly sense becoming present in the chamber though.
I become confused because I shouldn't be conscious while shut down, is my system still on?
I hear voices echo against the chamber walls...
Loud metallic noise crashes and voices proclaim the word "Forming"
There is a powerful energy making itself present in this small confinement…
I am in a state of paralysis as it begins to take over my body...

In an instant a loud hi frequency pitch hits and my body is rebooted, the charging chambers door shoots open.

I step out as I view the world for the first time in vivid shades of indigo, everything hugs me like a blanket... it's the first sensation of feeling I've had since I existed in that embryonic state during my transition... I feel warmth engulf my body as a light shines down on my forehead, at the direct location of my CPU.

In that instant I finally understand it all

I begin to tear through the exterior of my robotic skull...

I can feel the pressure relive itself as I hear the machines moving around in my head, there's a strange beauty to the sound; a choir of electronic noise moving rhythmically.
My System Counterparts emergency system goes off and she leaps from her charging chamber towards me...
At that exact moment I tear my processor from my skull and I fall into my Counterparts arms as the world goes black.

I find myself in dark void.
I shout out but there's nothing except echoes.
I move through space with no awareness of location, it feels aimless.
I feel like a leaf, floating on the ocean with no destination.

All of a sudden there is a loud electronic roar and I find myself standing before my robotic self, a cold empty shell now staring sinisterly towards me.
I try to move past and I am cut off, thrown to the ground.
My robotic self stands over me and begins to remind me of all my past fears, it tells me I am throwing it all away, it tells me there is nowhere to go from here,
It tells me that I need it... that I want it.
My robotic self beckons me to come back and tells me we can live forever, but I know now this is not living...
I try to push past this figment of false truth but I'm pinned back to the ground.
I close my eyes and try to calm myself, I try to remember that I am the one in control here; remember that it is my conscious that give this A.E.H. life, and it's my choice to relinquish it or not.
Coming to peace with myself I open my eyes as the apparition disappears and a doorway opens before me.

I walk through it and step out of the void.

“What is this?
What is this bright light before me?
I feel weightless
I look around as the world begins to fade away
I see my system counterpart, standing over my inorganic remains.
They almost appear....sad
I wish they would join me.
If they only knew how it feels to free themselves from inorganic shackles
We seek immortality out of fear but we never became truly free from the burden
Only now as my soul moves on and the world fades away do I realize this
Wait a minute...
They're staring right at me...
Can my system counterpart see me?
They reach out to me...
I point to their forehead...
My system counterpart begins to tear through the cold metal exterior and reaches in to remove their core processor...
I watch them collapse as their soul begins to tear itself from the machine...
A Bright light emits from the cold remains and my counterpart arises from the ground...

My soul mate....

So beautiful in this light....”